


Mushy Stuff

by Chariot_to_Somewhere



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life, family life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 22:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11793012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chariot_to_Somewhere/pseuds/Chariot_to_Somewhere
Summary: Small one shot bits about life in the Turner family





	1. Chapter 1

Shelagh came home from choir practice with Timothy in tow. It had been the first time she left the house without Teddy since he'd been born. Trixie had taken over for her in her absence and Patrick had insisted that Shelagh get out of the house for a little without the baby. It was heart wrenching to leave the little boy at home. Even though she knew Patrick was more than capable of handling Teddy and Angela on his, but she still worried. She had felt the same way the first time she left Angela to go out, almost a guilty feeling. But she knew that Patrick was right, she needed to go back out or else she'd get stir crazy. She even readily admitted that she was not the type of person to just sit at home, even with a small baby. 

The drive home was calm and there was no rush. Shelagh was enjoying fact that it wasn't snowing. She relished the time chatting with Tim the whole way, listening intently as he talked about school, and a girl he seemed to kind of like. Not that he would admit it of course, but her name had popped up in conversation before. They reached their home and made their way inside quietly, just in case the baby was sleeping. 

They entered to a darkened living room and soft music playing from upstairs. Shelagh and Tim exchanged a look as they took off their coats and made their way upstairs. Patrick was in his in Shelagh's room, wearing just his trousers and vest, Teddy cuddled closely in his arms, while Patrick gently rocked to the music coming from the record player. 

A wide grin made it's way across Shelagh's face at the sight of her husband dancing with their youngest son. Patrick grinned back at her and shifted Teddy so he was up right against his chest, and held his hand out to Shelagh. Walking to him, Shelagh took his hand and let him pull her closer into his gentle swaying. 

Tim watched the scene in mock disgust.  
"Always with the mushy stuff." He rolled his eyes, but retreated to his own room smiling.


	2. Hand holding

Holding hands becomes second nature rather quickly between Patrick and Shelagh. Whenever they're near each other, their fingers are laced together. It was such a small, but intimate physical connection between them. The first that Shelagh had ever allowed herself to have with a man, or really anyone outside of the order or work. Hands were held during deliveries, during prayers. But Patrick holding her hand felt like it was a completely different touch. 

His warm palm kept her grounded, reminded her that this was indeed not a dream. She wouldn't wake up in a cold sweat, in her room at St Anne's heart beating fast, chest aching for want of being with him. Often times it was when they were alone. Often times, at the beginning at least, his hand sought out hers. Reaching out to her while they cleaned up in the kitchen, or as he was leaving her at the main door to her lodgings, or even when she stopped to see him during his surgery hours. She'd come to expect it when they were alone or with just Timothy. Not yet comfortable enough to take his hand while in public. 

Patrick didn't want to rush her, didn't want to push her past the boundaries he knew she was fighting herself over. But oh how he wanted to take her hand as they walked around Poplar together. Let everyone know for certain that she was his, that his heart now belonged to her and hers to him. But he knew that so soon after leaving the order, it was not something she was ready for. He patiently waited for her to reach out to him, to take the lead, and he was more than happy to follow her cues. 

Many evenings, when it was just the two of them and Timothy was out playing or at cubs or in his room, she'd reach for his hand. Sitting in the living room listening to the radio, still sitting a respectable distance apart, she'd reach out and pull his hand to her. She'd smile at him shyly and play with is fingers. The more time she spent in his company, the more often she'd take his hand with Timothy around. It became common place for him to come in from playing to see them holding hands while talking or listening to a radio show. He'd roll his eyes and deem it mushy, and lament why they had to do it around him. 

"Because it bothers you." Had been his father's joked response. 

Later, as Patrick was leaving Shelagh at her door, he pulled her close and told her the real reason. That he just couldn't stop touching her, being close to her after having spent so long dreaming of it. 

Shelagh blushed in the dim light of the street lamps and Patrick brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. For the first time Shelagh took it upon herself to step up to him and press a quick kiss to his cheek before turning and entering the boarding house.


	3. Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisses became second nature after holding hands, though its evolution was no where near as rapid. It wasn't until well after Christmas that Shelagh would feel comfortable kissing him, or allowing him to kiss her in anywhere remotely public.

Their first kiss had been in his flat the day after Shelagh officially left the order. Patrick had invited her over for dinner, which he cooked, and hoped that the phone wouldn't ring. Their conversation was light, making sure to involve Timothy. Although Tim was much more interested in wolfing down his food so he could rejoin his friends outside. 

Shelagh insisted on cleaning up after the meal and Patrick only allowed her thanks to her still withering nun-stare. Shelagh set to clearing the table and washing the dishes while Patrick put on a record and joined her in the kitchen. He subverted her mission of cleaning up alone by grabbing a cloth and drying the dishes as quickly as she could put them in the drainer. Shelagh mildly scolded him through a laugh, but they soon fell into an easy silence, the music from the living room floating around them. 

After everything had been dried and put away, Patrick reached his hand out to her and led her to the living room. In the larger space, Patrick pulled Shelagh close to him, one hand still holding hers, the other placed on her back. Shelagh let out a small startled gasp but didn't pull away from him. She rested her head against his chest and they danced slowly around the living room, reveling in the closeness of each other. The song changed and the lyrics that met Shelagh's ears made her look up at Patrick and smile, her eyes shining with tears that Patrick knew weren't because she was sad. 

Patrick let go of her hand and placed his gently on her cheek, Shelagh turned and kissed his palm. The world seemed to stand still. Leaning down, Patrick searched her eyes for any hint of hesitation and pressed a soft but sure kiss against her lips. Shelagh smiled against him and returned his kiss before parting and burying her face in his jumper to hide her blushing cheeks. 

 

Once I had a secret love  
That lived within the heart of me  
All too soon my secret love  
Became impatient to be free

So I told a friendly star  
The way that dreamers often do  
Just how wonderful you are  
And why I am so in love with you

Now I shout it from the highest hills  
Even told the golden daffodils

At last my heart's an open door  
And my secret love's no secret anymore


	4. Almost everything is wonderful

At nearly eight months pregnant Shelagh Turner only really absolutely hated one of the of the many things her body was going through or had gone through so far. 

She handled the morning sickness, breakfasts were difficult, but she dealt with it. Knew that it meant her body was adjusting to the hormone changes that were allowing her baby thrive. Her growing waist line was most definitely not something she would complain about. Sure, she couldn't fit into her clothes and take to the seams out on many things but her baby was growing. Her little miracle was making himself known and growing with in her. Showing the world that he was on his way. And the hard kicks sometimes into bone or organs that left her feeling bruised from the inside, they were more than welcome. The stronger her baby got, the more she let herself hope and plan on being able to carry him to term without another scare. Shelagh could take just about anything the pregnancy could throw at her as long as it meant she would have her little miracle in her arms at the end of it. Everything was worth it. 

 

But, the one thing that she absolutely could not stand, no matter how much she tried to remind herself that it was because her baby was growing and taking up more space inside of her, was the constant need to pee. Every time she got into the flow of work, she was forced to put it aside and nearly run to the restroom. It made for a very annoying work day when she had keep ducking away. 

Everything about her pregnancy was welcome, well almost everything.


	5. Can I?

"Can.....can I call you mum?" Timothy asked shyly from his spot on the sofa next to Shelagh. 

He'd been referring to her as such to his class mates since shortly after she married his father. But he hadn't called her mum to her face, or around his dad. 

Shelagh was taken aback by the question. They had been sitting together in relative silence, each engrossed in their own work. Tim reading for school, and Shelagh fixing the never ending loose buttons on one of Patrick's coats. Patrick had been called out to an emergency just as they were sitting down to dinner so it had been just the two of them. 

 

"Well," Shelagh started slowly, wanting to form her response properly. "That is entirely up to you." Shelagh shifted to face Timothy and placed her sewing down. "I would be so honored if you chose to bestow that title to me, but it is wholly your choice. I don't want to ever replace your mother, I don't want you to ever feel like that's something I'm doing." 

"I don't feel that way!" Tim was quick to answer, closing his book and turning towards her. "I know you aren't a replacement. You do everything a mum does even though you don't have to, I'm not your-"

"You are most definitely mine." Shelagh said a little more fiercely than she intended. "I'm sorry, that came out a little harsh." Shelagh looked at her hands and tried to find the right words to explain to Timothy how much he meant to her, and how she saw him as her son even though she hadn't given birth to him or even raised him from an infant. "The moment I decided that I wanted to marry your father, I decided that I wanted to be your mother as well. In whatever capacity you wanted me to be.

I knew I could never replace your birth mother, would never want to. I couldn't marry a man with a child without being one hundred percent ready to be a mother to that child. In my heart I was your mum the moment I accepted yours and your father's proposal. Loving your father meant loving you as well."

Tim surprised Shelagh by nearly flinging himself into her, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. Shelagh laughed and returned his hug. 

"I love you too, mum."


	6. Affection

Shelagh Mannion had never really been one for physical affection. Perhaps as a small child she'd cuddle with her mother, but those few memories had long faded. As a teenager, she never really stepped out with any boys and none of her girl friends were the hugging type. Maybe it was her, or maybe it was just how things were in her home town. She knew just a few months into her nursing courses that she was going to be joining the Order of Saint Raymond Nonnatus. She'd heard of their work and was already planning on applying to study midwifery under the nuns. It was a calling like none she'd ever felt before. And the religious life did not bring with it allowances for physical affection. Physical affection was even further away for Sister Bernadette than it had ever been for Shelagh Mannion. 

The craving for affection was what first brought on the doubts about her path. The close proximity she had found herself in in regards to Dr. Turner had left her with a feeling she was not familiar with. A longing to have him close to her always. The feeling intensified the more they worked together and during the summer fete, when he kissed her hand, she nearly thought she was going to burst with wanting. 

Turning away from him had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. Would the Lord really be testing her this way? Why would he not only be putting her through this but Dr. Turner as well? They both knew nothing could happen between them, her commitment to God was blocking this path for her. But why was it a path shown to him? Why would God bring them together just for Patrick to feel more heart ache. These were the questions she brought up with Sister Julienne. Sister Bernadette saw the pain in his eyes when she told him that she was not turning from him because of him. Pain was there even with the complete acceptance of her choices. And that made her chest ache even more. After the kiss to her palm, the feeling in chest never seemed to go away. 

Then the x-ray results showed that she had lesions in her lungs from TB. The examination that Dr. Turner performed was incredibly professional. But she'd be lying if her knees were only shaking from the idea of the diagnosis. The closeness of him was making her just as nervous. His hands so close to her skin. She thought for sure the Lord would strike her down for the thoughts that were racing through her mind, and with Sister Julienne right there. But she held herself still, letting him do what he needed to complete the exam. 

Later that night, when she was alone in her room, she let the tears fall and sobs wracked through her body. She shouldn't be afraid of dying. Something wonderful was waiting for her in the kingdom of her god. But she didn't feel that she was ready to leave this life behind, she hadn't done all the things she could do, she wasn't done helping people.

Her isolation at St Anne's left her with ample time to think, to pray. The quiet of the hospital was a shocking change to the sounds that came with living in the heart of Poplar. Even when there we no voices inside Nonnatus, chatter from the streets filtered in, the house itself spoke in creaks and groans. But the hospital was a clean silence that left Sister Bernadette with only her thoughts. Truth be told, she relished the time away from Nonnatus House. Away from her sisters, away from work, way from him. It helped clear her mind and she could focus more directly on searching her heart and listening for where God was calling her. 

Avoiding Dr. Turner's letters was part of this searching. She felt the need to remove herself completely from the situation to figure out where to go. Knowing for certain that his letters would only prove to confuse things more. But getting them, seeing his hurried writing on the front sent her heart soaring. She made sure to respond to Timothy though. She couldn't leave him wondering if she forgot about him. The longer she was away, the clearer her path became. Her calling was changing. She was still meant to help people, to heal, to usher new life into the world. But she had a heart to heal as well, another life to usher into adulthood. 

Her first break from her short letters not containing much information beyond the generic "doing well, missing you all" was to Sister Julienne. Asking her to come for a visit, and to talk. She needed the older woman to help her sort out the conclusions she had come to, and Sister Julienne had always been willing to listen and to advise. And she wouldn't try to sway Sister Bernadette either way. 

Their conversation started off slow, Sister Bernadette unsure of how to form the thoughts she'd kept in her head for so long into words that would make sense to someone else. So she started with the facts. Fact: She loved God and wanted to continue serving him. Fact: She had feelings for Dr. Turner that went beyond a fleeting attraction to what she could not have. Fact: She felt lighter since admitting those feelings to herself, felt more at peace with herself than she had in a long time. From there she assured Sister Julienne that nothing had happened between them. They hadn't even spoken of their mutual attraction past what transpired during the summer fete, past Dr. Turner informing her that of course he would respect her vows. Sister Julienne had no doubt that Sister Bernadette had kept her vow of chastity, and told the younger woman such. Sister Julienne also assured that she would not and could not judge her for the path she was moving towards. The Lord calls to them all in different ways, and at times, his call changed. Upon parting, Sister Bernadette had made her final decision.

After her discharge, she would no longer be a member of the Order of Saint Raymond Nonnatus. Her calling was no longer just to help other women become mothers, but to become a mother and wife herself. And when she finally read Dr. Turner's letters, she knew that he was wanting the same of her. His letters were filled with news from Poplar, any new medical information he thought she'd enjoy, tales of Timothy's antics, and increasingly, his feelings for her. He never demanded for her to write him back, never lamented that she hadn't. His letters just kept coming as if they had been responded to. The signature evolving

Dr. Turner  
Dr. P. Turner  
P. Turner  
Dr. Patrick Turner  
Patrick

Telling him she was coming home hadn't been her plan originally. She had planned to phone Nonnatus and see if maybe Fred could come get her. Or to let Sister Julienne know she would be arriving shortly to sign the renouncing of her vows. But she found herself asking the operator for Dr. Turner's number. 

Not allowing him to come pick her up wasn't the best decision she had made. She realized this as she was walking down the cold, misty road after getting off the bus that was taking her the wrong way. Scolding herself, she heard a car coming up the road before she saw the headlights through the fog. She prayed that it would be someone willing to give her a lift back to the bus terminal. But then she heard Timothy's voice shouting out through the dense air. 

Before she had really any time to process, Patrick was wrapping his coat around her, scolding her for being out in the damp cold mist. After his coat had been wrapped around her shoulders, he pulled her close to him, and she felt like she was finally home. 

 

****

Looking down at the small boy sleeping in arms, and the older one leaning against her on the sofa as he read the latest Lancet, Shelagh Turner couldn't imagine her life without physical affection. Something simple as her son leaning against her, or her daughter climbing into her lap while she fed the baby, playing with his feet while he ate, brought her so much joy. Patrick's hand finding the small of her back, reaching his hand out to hers, kissing her on the head, or the lips when in private. Watching her eldest son cuddle his sister while reading story books to her, or picking up his little brother when he started to cry. It had become second nature to her, giving and receiving the affection she once separated herself from.


	7. Hugs

The first time Patrick put his arms around Shelagh, she thought she'd melt right into his warmth. Her knees went weak and she dropped her suitcase so she could wrap her arms around him in return. In the middle of a misty and grey road, they stood wrapped in each other reveling in finally being able to touch without fear. It didn't last long, Timothy shouted at them to hurry up and get back to the car. They laughed, Patrick picked up her case, and the walked back to the car. 

Hugs became common place after that. Hugs were easy for her to get used to. She'd often hugged new parents, and some of the nurses were quite the hugging sort. But hugging Patrick was so much different, and there were so many different types of hugs that she hadn't realized existed before. 

They hugged in greeting and farewell. He hugged her in thanks when she was at his flat and made Tim dinner while he was out on a call. She hugged him in the quiet of his kitchen after clearing up from dinner, just wanting to be close to him. On days when he came home after a particularly grueling day and looked like he'd been beaten about the head by the weight of the world she hugged him and let him cling to her. 

Some times their hugs were quick, when she'd stop by the clinic with lunch and he'd wrap an arm around her from the side by way of thanks. Or at the doorstep the boarding house she was lodging in. Others were long, when he found her in his flat, long after she probably should have gone to hers. Tidying up or reading on the sofa, not wanting Tim to be home alone. He'd pull her to her feet and envelope her in his arms. He'd walk up behind her while she was setting the table or washing dishes and wrap his hands around her middle, resting his chin on her shoulder. She'd do the same to him, but with her head resting on his back (his shoulder more than a bit out of her reach). The night the bomb was found, she was wrapped in his arms laying in bed with him after having abandoned the couch for a more comfortable place to sleep. 

While hugging wasn't the farthest extent of their physical intimacies, it was definitely one that they indulged in frequently and unashamedly. Trixie often teased her that they were always touching, either holding hands or hugging. And with a waggle of her eyebrows made a lewd suggestion about how it would be after they were married. Shelagh and blushed and shushed her. But she really did love being able to simply touch him. The freedom thrilled her, even when it was something as simple as a hug.


	8. Results

Shelagh's hands were shaking as she held the yellow envelope in her hands. Fear and hope were warring in her brain. The contents of the envelope could change her life forever, or leave her feeling even emptier than the first time she'd gotten one. She worries a corner between her fingers, trying to summon the courage to open it. Her stomach is in knots. Every possible scenario goes speeding through her mind. 

Taking a deep breath Shelagh opens the envelope and pulls out the single paper held within. Her eyes scanned over the words printed there, here eyes widening as she got to what she was searching for. She read it over and over tears threatening to fall. 

Her hand fell to her belly and rested just below her navel and she smiled as the test results sunk in.


	9. Chapter 9

It's not until after Timothy and Angela know that they're getting a baby brother or sister that Shelagh starts telling others. She knows that so many things can still go wrong and she doesn't have it in her to tell people if the worst happens. But she knows they'll all be happy and supportive, she can already imagine Sister Monica Joan and Trixie reacting to her news. And when she finally tells them, they don't disappoint. 

Sister Julienne had invited her to dinner at Nonnatus, it had been a while since she joined them for a meal and Shelagh gladly accepted. And when doing so, she let the sister know that she was planning on telling everyone that night about the baby. Sister Julienne beamed and reinforced that they would be so thrilled for her. 

After sitting down, but before Sister Julienne led the table in prayer, Shelagh told her gathered family that she had something she'd like to share with them. Look up at Sister Julienne, she took a steadying breath, seeing the soft smile on the older woman's face gave her the courage. 

 

"Patrick and I will be welcoming a new a member to our family in a few months time." Shelagh said smiling.

Before she could continue, Trixie blurted out, "are you adopting again?" A grin spreading across her face. 

 

"No, we're going the more traditional route this time. I...I'm pregnant." Shelagh couldn't keep the smile off of her face, she slid a hand from the table down to her belly while the entire group broke out in congratulations.   
Sister Winifred was clapping her hands and let out a squeak of happiness, choruses of "oh that's wonderful" and "I'm so pleased for you" filled the air. Trixie was up out of her chair and pulling Shelagh up into a hug before anyone else could do the same. 

"Oh sweetie, I'm so happy for you, but I can't believe you've kept this from me! " Trixie scolded her teasingly before hugging her friend again. 

"With my history, I didn't want to share too soon, knowing that something could go wrong." Shelagh said softly. 

A hand on Shelagh's shoulder got her to turn around, and now in front of her stood Sister Monica Joan, a bright smile wide across her face. 

"My dear sister, I find that for once I am lacking in a quote to properly convey what I am feeling. But this miracle you have been blessed with has been the best news I have ever heard." Sister Monica Joan reached out a hand and placed it Shelagh's belly. Shelagh placed her hand on top Sister Monica Joan's and looked at the elderly nun. 

After a few more hugs from the other nurses, and of course more from Trixie, they all sat back down to dinner while still asking Shelagh all the questions they could come up with.


	10. Movement

Shelagh had been home from St. Cuthbert's for nearly two weeks the first time she felt it. She was in the kitchen getting lunch together for herself and Angela when she felt a light flutter in her belly. Stunned, and not sure she was feeling what she hoped she was feeling, Shelagh set down the knife that had been in her hand and pressed her hand to the side of her belly. After a few seconds, she felt it again. Her eyes stung with tears as it sunk in that she was feeling her baby moving. 

A few weeks ago, she doubted that she would ever get to experience this, that it would be taken from her. And Gloria was right, it felt like a little fish swimming inside her. It was a wonderful feeling, one she couldn't wait to feel grow stronger. Her hand rubbed against the side of her belly, wondering if her baby could feel her in return yet. 

"Mummy?" Angela's voice broke her out of her daydream. She had wandered from her playing in the living room 

"Yes angel girl?" Shelagh said turning to her daughter. 

"Is lunch ready?" 

"Very nearly. Can you go wash your hands and sit down at the table for me?"

Angela nodded and ran off to the bathroom where there was a little stool she could stand on to reach the tap. 

Shelagh sighed happily and rubbed her belly again before turning back to grab meal she prepared.

___________

The first time Patrick felt the baby move had been at the end of a very long day. It hadn't been a bad day but it had started early and ended late. He'd barely been able to find time to have a quick lunch between the patients lined up at the surgery. Shelagh had left him a plate of food in the oven but he'd been too exhausted to eat. So he trudged to their room and managed to at least pull on pajama pants before collapsing next to his wife. 

The movement of the bed woke Shelagh and looked sleepily at Patrick. He leaned over to her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. 

"I already called in for a locum for the for the morning. Once Timothy's light was off and you weren't back, I figured getting up as early as you do was not something that would be welcome tomorrow." Shelagh said, her voice laced with sleep. "You don't have any commitments until half one. "

"You are an absolute angel." Patrick kissed her again and settled into the bed beside her. 

Shelagh turned back on her side and felt Patrick shift to wrap an arm around her and place his hand on her belly, rubbing it softly. 

Patrick's rubbing motion slowed down as he started falling asleep, but he was jolted back awake when he felt a little -thump- against his hand. Not sure if his tired mind was playing a trick on him or not, Patrick pressed a little against the spot where he felt it. 

He was rewarded with another -thump- against his palm. 

"Shelagh! Did you feel that?" He asked excitedly. His hand not moving from the spot. 

"Yes, you woke the baby up." Shelagh muttered, her accent heavier than it usually was. 

"I felt it too!" Patrick said happily. 

Shelagh tried burrowing further into the blankets and closer to sleep but responded with "that's nice dear." 

"Shelagh!" This time it came out as a whine, sounding more like Timothy grousing about too much home work than a grown a man. 

A little more awake Shelagh rolled onto her back and hit Patrick with her still in tact "nun-stare". 

"I felt the baby move!"

"What?" Shelagh was becoming more aware but still having a hard time shaking the sleep from her mind. "You? Oh Patrick that's wonderful!."

She grabbed his hand and placed it back on her belly. The baby gave a another kick. Patrick laughed and kissed Shelagh before shifting down to press kisses to her belly.


End file.
